And we're on! #DDLJ pic.twitter.com/BOZTgnk9sm
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Every time I look at Amrish Puri, I feel I'm watching my dad. - N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Oh. There's the unibrow. Now we know what you meant @KananGill and @kalyanrath πππ -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran is madly in love with an imaginary dude. This is where we crossed the line from romantic to creepy. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Now she is dancing naked for him. Just perfect. - K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
When I didn't clear CA final my parents didn't even offer to take me to Lonavala and here, failing Uni gets Raj a EuroTrip. - N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
βI'm born and brought up in London but I'll still wear a shiny Salwar Suit and jewellery at home.β - Simran.
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
- N. #DDLJ
"Aaj bhi beti baap ke saamne sharmati hai." I mean, really? She is clearly annoyed. Maybe if you didn't chill with pigeons so often... 1/n
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
...you would've been able to read human emotions better. -K
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
2/2 #DDLJ
Raj is such a bully! I'm already annoyed with him. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
If you have such a problem with the culture in London, why did you go there Mr. Baldev? - N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
I am starting to think that Simiran's sister has some major feelings for Miss Lucy. This movie keeps crossing the creepy line. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran has some major convincing skills. It's probably the only time in the whole movie that she's making sense. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
RAJ!!! Let the woman read in peace. God!! -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
When a stranger leans on me in an empty compartment, i usually yell for help. But that's just me. Clearly, simran thinks its cute-K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
If it were me, Raj would have experienced my taser by now. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Why is laying your head on a girl's lap considered romantic? Especially when you don't even know her. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
So when you see a guy being creepy to your friend, your first instinct is to flirt with him. Such a smart approach to life -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Again, Simran has lived in London all her life, but has an Indian accent when she speaks English. Great βacting.β -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
He thinks of his grandma when he sees her and she thinks that its sweet?Girls, this is exactly when you are supposed to walk away. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
βGumsum si nazar, dekhe jo idhar.β
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran gives the death stare. -N #DDLJ
βPaas jo aaye toh, chooke main dekhoon zara.β
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Did the concept of consent not exist in the 90s? -N#DDLJ
Raj is paying in Chavannis and Attannis in Europe. Guess the concept of diff currencies for diff countries does not exist either. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Raj tore the back of her dress & all her luggage is back in the train they just missed. Where did she manage to find another dress? -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
They're staying at some kind stranger's house and princess Simran expects her own suite. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
So she won't spend the night with him in a bedroom but its okay when its a barn. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Oh, and she drank the whole bottle of alcohol too in the barn. Real classy. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
When people drink at night, they wake up with a hangover. But Simran gets drunk only the next morning. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
She's not even his girlfriend yet and she expects him to buy a pretty red dress for her. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
She couldn't let him see the strap of her bra when he tore the back of her dress but she can stand in front of him in a swimsuit. 1/2
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Their relationship has gone to the next level. What's that, like, base 0.5? -N 2/2#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
If you want to wear a super short dress on a snow clad mountain and not freeze to death, drink shahrukh's left over alcohol. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
When you lie to Simran about sleeping with her she becomes Kali Maa & you have to perform an exorcism to get her to calm the F down -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Oh, so you DIDN'T sleep with me? I am so turned on right now. - Simran
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
-N #DDLJ
Now that I'm comfortable around you, my skirt and sleeves are only going to get shorter. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
SRK is the same whether he is Raj or Rahul or Rahul or Rahul. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
If she turns, it's not because she loves you, it's because she's making sure you're not following her. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Oh, I didn't know you could play that banjo like instrument without moving your fingertips over the frets. Raj must be a magician. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
But, but. Shahrukh has such shiny, silky, straight hair. I am so J. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Yes, the guy you met 10 days ago, will fly to india for your wedding. Simran is such a smarty. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran says, βApne desh chali jaoongi,β referring to India and here's why it's BS.
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
1. She's never been to India. How does it feel like.. 1/n
...home, when you've never been there.
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
2. If you love βyour countryβ so much, why haven't you even gone there on a holiday in 20 YEARS!! 2/n
Even if it was to see/meet your to-be husband! This just doesn't add up. 3/3 -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran is ready to break her engagement for a guy who told her he loves her and laughed in her face. 1/2
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
At this point, she's not sure if he loves her back. At least make sure the guy loves you before you fight with your family. 2/2 -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
When a guy acts creepy you, the natural thing to do is hang with his squad for the rest of the trip and fall in love with him. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
βHum un mein se hain jo chaand ko dekhte nahin chaand ko utha kar ghar par le aatein hain.β
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Great advice, Raj's dad. -N #DDLJ
@theazadsisters kyunki tu Neil Amstrong ki aulaad hai na
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
They packed up and sold EVERYTHING in one day. Because it's that quick and easy to sell Real Estate. -N #DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
She left bell behind because she did not care for it. It was not an indication for you to follow her to india. Be cool man. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
THAT is the face of a stalker. I am scared for Simran right now. -K#DDLJ pic.twitter.com/j0mziO0cZw
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
They just sold their house. They should have enough money to at least travel by 3rd AC, no? - N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Just FYI, I find Kuljeet better looking than Raj. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
If I were Simran I'd get on board this arranged marriage thing the minute I saw Kuljeet. He is fiiiiiine. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Just to clear things up, we Punjabis don't sit with a Dholak and sing songs all day. We have important things to do. Like eating. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran was born with such an advanced internal GPS that it took her just one try to find Raj in the fields. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran has the hearing capacity of a bat apparently. -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
She sees a cow with the bell hangin around its neck & thinks: Damn. How did THAT ugly thing land up here? I thought I got rid of it -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Raj didn't even have her address but he found her because Punjab is as small as Pump House and even THAT's not small. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Mmmm. Boobs. -K#DDLJ pic.twitter.com/YpTttL3xFP
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Nice to hug a non imaginary man for a change:))))) -K#DDLJ pic.twitter.com/nDzsUs588v
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Oh fuck. This is the shit. -K&N#DDLJ pic.twitter.com/GtK1iUM8Yg
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Wait, what was that I just felt? -K#DDLJ pic.twitter.com/FkW4DQCqhw
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Raj - the first time a girl voluntarily let's him touch her, he gropes her. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
If someone snatched my book while I was reading & dared to THROW it away they'd be dead. But Simran just turns around & hugs him. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Raj to Chutki: Chota sa tofa, choti si dulhan ke liye.
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Saala pedophile. -N#DDLJ
Raj watches Simran's Bua pick a saree and she thinks it's cute. Why??? Why do all creepy things seem cute to women in this movie. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Is it because it's Shahrukh? Would they find it just as cute if it was some other random dude? -N.#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
That chess scene was in the movie only to show that Bauji doesn't give an F about Raj. And he shouldn't. He stalked Simran. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
And suddenly Simran's hair is all styled and in control. Does Punjab have better hairdressers than London? -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Chutki has an opinion on Kuljeet and Raj based on..what? Simran listens to her only because she's saying what Simran wants to hear. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Udit Narayan's voice π -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
I am convinced that Simran's Indian clothes serve the purpose of blinding people so they can't see the rest of this crap clearly -K#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Amrish Puri singing "meri zohrajabi" is so cute.
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
I think everyone communicates telepathically. Raj's dad arrived without so much as a phone call and landed in the right place. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
It's like geography and addresses are not important in this movie at all. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Simran's fav conversation starter: Raj, tumhe pata hai kal kya hai?
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
And the answer: Meri sagaai, Karva Chauth, etc. -N#DDLJ
Umm, on Karva Chauth we sing βSarv suhaagan karvada,β not βnee sagaai hove.β -N#DDLJ pic.twitter.com/YYaEE59zUT
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
There are 15 people surrounding Simran when she falls and NO ONE saw her wink at Raj. Not even Kuljeet who was looking AT her. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Raj to Simran's mom: Ab Simran aapki pareshani nahi meri pareshani hai.
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Bottomline, Simran pareshani hai. -N#DDLJ
When Dadi wants to see her grandaughter's wedding the actual preparation & muhurat can take a hike. We'll have it the very next day -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Wow. The photograph has a life of its own. It WANTS to be held by Bauji. It'll fly behind him the direction of the wind be damned. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Kuljeet, if I knew you'd take a rifle to a fight and use it to HIT (and not shoot) a guy, I'd have never fallen for you. -N#ddlj
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Yeah. Raj knows how to really use a rifle. Plus, Kuljeet hit Raj's dad. Not cool. Not cool at all. -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Now that your father has let go of your hand, why are you still standing there, you idiot! -N#DDLJ
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Finally. It's over! π
β Kritika & Nikita (@thewritenoise) September 10, 2015
Closing statements (summarised, of course) tomorrow. Good night world!!
Where was the romance? All we could see was people making one stupid decision after another, and to what end?
- Nikita Azad.